Talking to myself

Talking to oneself is not something most people would readily admit to, unless they are a ventriloquist. After all, isn’t that one of the diagnostic criteria for crazy people? I submit, however, that most, if not all, of us do it all the time. Talking to oneself is does not always take the form of someone in the throes of a psychotic meltdown talking to him or herself as though they are two separate people. Psychologists call the inner conversations we have with ourselves every day “self-talk”. It can be the byproduct of a normal, healthy mind.

 Self-talk reflects our inner thoughts as we react to circumstances and situations throughout our day. It may be something as simple as, “I’d better get going; I’m going to be late” or “I wonder what she sees in him (or him in her).” It can be positive- “I can do this.” It can be negative- “I just can’t do this.” We are constantly assessing, evaluating, calculating, and judging past, present, and future events in our lives.

Of course, self-talk should reflect reality. It doesn’t do much good for me to self-talk myself about winning the ironman. Just isn’t going to happen. Depressed people often engage in negative self-talk that does not reflect reality. Positive self-talk can be very helpful when predicated on a foundation of real past achievements, sometimes even when not.  

 

Athletes deal with self-talk perhaps more than most people. Developing the habit of positive self-talk is a very important training tool in the kit of most elite athletes. Self-talk can build up an athlete and make him or her confident in their training and ability, or it can be just the opposite. Many episodes of “choking” in sports competitions are probably the due to negative self-talk.

 This week, my Monday morning began with getting up after a poor night’s sleep- less than 6 hours with 2 awakenings in the middle of the night. Enough to keep me from getting restful sleep. The idea of dragging myself out of bed, skipping breakfast and reading my morning paper, driving in the dark to the YMCA, and jumping in the pool for a long swim, with fast intervals, was decidedly unappealing. On the drive over my mind kept telling me this was too hard, I was too tired, I didn’t need to do this. It was also asking me why. Why was I putting myself out to this extent? What would be so bad about never doing an ironman triathlon? After all, most people in this life will never do one. It was enough to make me quit right then and there. I didn’t, though. I just keep on driving and, once I got to the Y, I just got my gear, walked in, and headed for the pool. Jumping into the cool water felt great. From there, I had perhaps the best swim I have had, ever. I felt great, fast, and the time just flew. I did my drills and finished the entire workout. Heading to the office, I was definitely on a “high” and the rest of the day just continued to go well. It was a great example of not letting self-defeating, negative self-talk get the upper hand.

I had a small epiphany as a result. I realized that looking at this ironman triathlon as something  I HAVE to do, is looking at  it all wrong. This is something I GET to do. I use the same reasoning in my profession when things get a little tough. I am fortunate that it is possible for me to even consider an  ironman at my age and with my limited physical gifts. I should thank God for the privilege, something I have tried to do and resolve to do more.

Florida Ironman Training Log:

After the great swim at the YMCA on Monday, I had a good swim session at the NTC and strength session with Karl, who  continues to try to build me up, even if it kills me. Thursday was interesting. I went to the YMCA with a planned session of 2800 yards with 1600 yards of fast/hard drills. The pool temperature was 88-90 and I could feel the unpleasant warmth the minute I jumped in. After my warm up, I tried to do my drills but in a couple of laps I was feeling panicked, out of breath, and HOT. I stopped and almost left the pool then and there. Instead, after catching my breath, I decided to adjust and just see what I could do with a long, slow swim. By the time I checked my watch, I had done 3625 yards in 1 hour 34 minutes- my longest swim ever. I could have kept going but had to get out to get to work. It was a nice validation of my training so far that this swim got done. Progress. It’s nice to see.  

 

Week’s sessions:

Mon., 7/29- Swim, 2775 yards @ 2:20 min/100 yds, total time 1:13:46 hr

                      Spin, 8.21 miles @ 14.1 mph, total time 35:01 min

Tue., 7/30- Swim at NTC, 1475 yards @2:23 min/100 yds, total time 47:57 min

Wed., 7/31- Run, 3/5 miles @ 8:39 min/mi, total time 30:16 min

Thu., 8/1- Swim, 3625 yards @ 2:32 min/100 yds, total time 1:34:33 hrs

Fri.,  8/2- Run, 9.16 miles @ 9:18 min/mi, total time 1:25:13 hrs

Sat., 8/3- Bike, 65.05 miles @ 15.4 mph, total time 4:12:51 hrs